unKnowingly

I think of the rain and the trees

I think of the oceans and the breeze

I think of things that matter to me ;

but you're always there,

you are the one..

only you're what it takes to set me free.

I've thought of freedom

I've thought of truth and eccentricity

of art, and music, and poetry ;

but they're always there,

to take me to the other world..

only you're the one who can make me see.

I've seen the sights and had my days and nights

I've known how to distinguish and analyse

I've exploited my rights unduly ;

but all's been and done with,

the highs and lows are past..

only you always let me be me.

I know myself well

I know it all, and more..

only I wish I knew who you were ;

you're who I want to know

'coz you're the one I want and I'll need..

for now, and forever.

First I, Then you.

Morality and conscience. Big words! A relatively smaller scope for emphasis, while some major differences they do create. Despite a few small allowances, the capabilities are still extensive. The word is still big.

How many people would respond emphathetically though? Even if the impression might appear surreal, and certainly aim at 'rhetorical', an ambitious perspective wouldn't refrain from asking why people try so hard. What do they want to prove? Why do they come about needing the proof?

Humanity is one of the few viable resources that remains susceptible to most - people, emotions, actions - you name it. Limited mentality wouldn't get you places. It is but the very thought of carefree, evolving, ever-changing circumstances that should bring out the life, and kill the bottled-up-ness. Understanding emotions and sentiments sure increases your EQ. But where does it leave you when you're actually out there dealing with a real-life situation? a crisis? feelings running haywire? And hands-on exprerience might get you immensely baffled for the most part. It, however, enhances a sense, an ability to correlate and concern yourself with what is out there. While most of it may catch you unawares, strike you between the eyes and yet still fail to create a lasting impact, some of it may invaluably add to the dexterous situation. Widen the dimensions, bring up new ideas and stack 'em into your little book of experience, and grant an eventful memory - awaiting reminiscience, to be built upon and sensibly shared.

They say that, to get something out of it, you first need to put in something. A hint of this old-world vibe in the air might be accompanied by compulsions. Orthodox thought-processes that would otherwise not stand a chance in the deep, dark decay that continues its proliferation. To be 'who' you always wanted to be, you are required to think in the liberated way you always wished to - and to ofcourse strike a balance once out there, for change lurks around as always. And shouldn't it?

Being nice, being humane - acting out your prescribed scene (no Shakespearean pun intended). What about it wouldn't attract even the teeniest bit of reciprocity that you're not looking for but cannot help finding? And why not, if it gets you what you want and helps in keeping you happy! Endlessly cliched, but the world is still big. And all the world's a stage, all the men and women merely players. Fairplay, indeed. =D

To Know, and Choose

The Knowing

The dictionary defines 'intuition' as the ability to understand or know something without conscious reasoning. Things happen, and after they have happened, there tends to be this nagging belief of knowing that this was exactly what was supposed to have happened, in anyway. Like you always knew, and had this feeling all along. Like there was no other way, no other justification of it happening the way it did. Situations can reveal the same - the unconscious fact of understanding what needs to be known under the lines. Yet, there are some people for whom its quintessentially a way of life. Intuition runs in their blood, or rather, their nerves. Scientifically, its got to have something to do with possessing a more active, concerned and observant brain. But speaking generally, its when you understand the emotions that are put behind an action, be it anything for that matter. The more you understand, the more emotionally intelligent you become. Quite simply put, the ability of knowing and/or understanding, helps in putting things in perspective. It makes stuff make sense. Which again in turn, makes sense. Like I don't think I really know why I'm doing this. But I know.

(Impersonal, and no intentions of being freaky. =D )

AND

The Choosing

Choices are a part and parcel of life. They come free, may bring on a little debt later on, and conclude to mark a life. A life marked by choices - could turn out to be pleasantly fulfilled, or even majorly flawed. Even though tried and tested sources justify that correct and incorrect choices do exist, its all about how the optional decision is taken and more importantly, what is made out of it. Not exactly what the decision is. Happiness need not be as limited! As in to only prove its worth to consequential satisfaction. Even though having no choice is the random-est reason of explanation, mortal life is not about what the choices are, its about 'who' makes them. Its not related to knowing the outcome and delving into something even remotely familiar, its knowing that you have the ability to face the aftermath, come what may. Its about living life to the fullest and making the most out of whatever constituent choices and decisions are made, that lead on to create a life to love - owing to all the 'living'.

=)

Goodbye..

goodbye..
was it a hug, a wave, a sigh?
was it a tear splashing out of the eye?
was it nothing short of an honest lie?

goodbye..
was it a reluctantly bid adieu?
was it old worries with anxiety anew?
was it all alone with the person thats you?

goodbye..
was it a bold decision to make?
was it too rash a step to take?
was it loss of love or heartbreak?

goodbye..
was it the wilderness of the night?
was it a dim light trying to burn bright?
was it courage defeating fright?

goodbye..
was it a hushed-up groan or a stiffled moan?
was it undernourished, was it overgrown?
was it miscellaneous complications unknown?

goodbye..
was it over-the-top, a let-down or just mediocre?
was it dull black & white, or deep dark ochre?
was it absolutely daft and off the rocker?

goodbye..
was it a grudge? was it treason?
was it a careless change of season?
was it denial devoid of any reason?

goodbye..
was it easy to be able to cope?
\was it like the mighty tug of a rope?
was it the difference between eternity and hope?

goodbye..
was it out of sympathy or fear?
was it oh-so-far and yet so near?
was it utterly plain, simple and clear?

goodbye..
was it the end of continual pain?
was it the howling wind or the deafening rain?
was it acknowledgement without refrain?

goodbye..
was it too seemingly odd?
was it the close of a life terribly flawed?
was it just us, or was it God?

Not justifying it. (a thought process)

Its been bothering me for a while now. And I know its not reason enough to actually take it into account and start justifying. But it still strikes me as odd to not have a reason to iterate what maybe. And what may not. For there are many ideas and fleeting schemes that might matter at a particular point of time. But seeing it through till the very end is what causes, (for lack of a better phrase to explain it) - rebellion.

And my system is accustomed to it. In irritating, thoughtful ways.

Why can it not be simple and straightforward? There just have to be all these devious means and methods of bringing about change. Majorly, none of it holds as much significance over time and the complications seem ineffective and morose. And the aftermath causes change of course and the initial stuff is conviniently forgotten, left behind for the new. There are remembrances ofcourse, and reminisciences. 'If' becomes a way of life, the only unquestionable explanation as the conclusion would remain aloof. Fantasy over reality, the shortcut out. But if it weren't as tedious and attention-seeking, would there have been any interest in the first place? As atrocious as it may seem, the mind plays games of its own. There's nothing wayward about it. Only implications of what is known and confirmed, else how would you base the unknown? There would be no reason to go on. Which asks of the reason yet again. Why did it start? How will it end? Make-up your own ideologies, justify the null and keep going. It can get as complicated as you want it to. Even though simplicity is what lies beneath. You decide the end with whatever you've made of it.

And that's what makes you.

At The Close

from the past and present of her life
as was due, she has come to realise
all is not what it then may seem
all comes to an end, when it once does begin

it may appear illogically rash and wild
may cause distress and sorrow, none too mild
initially even futile, carelessly so
knowing truth that she'd always refrained to know

but the truth remains disguised in the pain
while all this time she'd been shifting the blame
but the truth remains in all that she looked down upon
never putting it right, being heartlessly stubborn

despite the future that it draws, as the past did
the present finally comes to a subtle close
when the truth will out, the pain will be killed
and there will be nothing to realise anymore

when long atlast she'll see it clear
but then the time will be far too near
and nothing will come of help to ease the strain
but she will know she has waited in vain
that it never mattered much to put in her whole
and nothing will matter much anymore.

People. Anonymous.

Staying away from home and the protected environment I've always been used to being in, somehow, results in making me very vigilant and aware of the world that lives and breathes and continuously changes around me. For the most part, its about observing and understanding people that I associate with. With what I see to be a veritable conclusion, there are many types of people all around and each type has something special, significant, intimidating or interesting about it, counting down to the last characteristic.

Following no order of sequence, I'm (for whatever reasons) inclined to start with the general class of 'normal' people. They're everywhere, happy, existing with no issues that others know of. They fill in the empty voids, and are worth taking into consideration (I'm sure) where the protagonists fail to amuse. Then come everybody you know of. There are the people you're aware will be there for you no matter what. The people who will do what it takes to keep you happy, and there are the people who could have caused worry, fear or pain, sometime in life ( I remember school :| ). There are those you look up to, and some who let you down, and some who changed and have kept changing, but still stick around. There are the amazingly-gifted people you appreciate, no complaints at all - but life would have had happier moments if they hadn't tried so much and set a few standards straight. Then there are the best friends, the good friends, the just-friends, the to-be-friends, only acquaintances, friends who're now acquaintances, and known people who're now nobody(s) - for the better or for worse. More? The distantly friendly work people, the close-knit gossip-groups, the lunch-and-dinner company and the anytime-hangout buddies. There are the people you know too well, and the ones you don't know at all. And there are those you wish you knew more about. People you want to spend time with, and those you wish you saw less of. People with selfish incentives, mediocre selfless needs , 24x7 attention requirements, assurance guarantees, and free time. Then there are people who you have to try and get along with, and those with whom you randomly end up having fun, no matter what. The intellectual discussion-types, the goofy dim-witted time-consuming chat-types, the ones with whom conversation is always a pleasant deal. Then there are the people you wish to be like. The people you love for inexplicable reasons, and the reciprocative-association types. There are those you've known all your life, and the people you wish you never had known, and the ones you know you'll always know. Family ofcourse, which constitues majority of the categories mentioned and more. They're like the few people who could probably tag you into one of the categories and justify you inside out.

But there are just SO many people to name and know, no detailed classification table could ever be enough. And I, unclassifiedly, belong to one or more of the many indefinite genres. Melodrama, let there be peace. :)