At The Close

from the past and present of her life
as was due, she has come to realise
all is not what it then may seem
all comes to an end, when it once does begin

it may appear illogically rash and wild
may cause distress and sorrow, none too mild
initially even futile, carelessly so
knowing truth that she'd always refrained to know

but the truth remains disguised in the pain
while all this time she'd been shifting the blame
but the truth remains in all that she looked down upon
never putting it right, being heartlessly stubborn

despite the future that it draws, as the past did
the present finally comes to a subtle close
when the truth will out, the pain will be killed
and there will be nothing to realise anymore

when long atlast she'll see it clear
but then the time will be far too near
and nothing will come of help to ease the strain
but she will know she has waited in vain
that it never mattered much to put in her whole
and nothing will matter much anymore.

People. Anonymous.

Staying away from home and the protected environment I've always been used to being in, somehow, results in making me very vigilant and aware of the world that lives and breathes and continuously changes around me. For the most part, its about observing and understanding people that I associate with. With what I see to be a veritable conclusion, there are many types of people all around and each type has something special, significant, intimidating or interesting about it, counting down to the last characteristic.

Following no order of sequence, I'm (for whatever reasons) inclined to start with the general class of 'normal' people. They're everywhere, happy, existing with no issues that others know of. They fill in the empty voids, and are worth taking into consideration (I'm sure) where the protagonists fail to amuse. Then come everybody you know of. There are the people you're aware will be there for you no matter what. The people who will do what it takes to keep you happy, and there are the people who could have caused worry, fear or pain, sometime in life ( I remember school :| ). There are those you look up to, and some who let you down, and some who changed and have kept changing, but still stick around. There are the amazingly-gifted people you appreciate, no complaints at all - but life would have had happier moments if they hadn't tried so much and set a few standards straight. Then there are the best friends, the good friends, the just-friends, the to-be-friends, only acquaintances, friends who're now acquaintances, and known people who're now nobody(s) - for the better or for worse. More? The distantly friendly work people, the close-knit gossip-groups, the lunch-and-dinner company and the anytime-hangout buddies. There are the people you know too well, and the ones you don't know at all. And there are those you wish you knew more about. People you want to spend time with, and those you wish you saw less of. People with selfish incentives, mediocre selfless needs , 24x7 attention requirements, assurance guarantees, and free time. Then there are people who you have to try and get along with, and those with whom you randomly end up having fun, no matter what. The intellectual discussion-types, the goofy dim-witted time-consuming chat-types, the ones with whom conversation is always a pleasant deal. Then there are the people you wish to be like. The people you love for inexplicable reasons, and the reciprocative-association types. There are those you've known all your life, and the people you wish you never had known, and the ones you know you'll always know. Family ofcourse, which constitues majority of the categories mentioned and more. They're like the few people who could probably tag you into one of the categories and justify you inside out.

But there are just SO many people to name and know, no detailed classification table could ever be enough. And I, unclassifiedly, belong to one or more of the many indefinite genres. Melodrama, let there be peace. :)

'A' for Ar-chi-tec-ture

When I thought I knew what architecture meant, I had no idea that I'd be crossing the limits of having career-related misconceptions. As far as setting up miscellaneous household objects and doing up interiors (to VERY generally, make the whole setting look pretty) was concerned, I was interested enough, and/but nowhere near becoming an architect. The reality TV shows that instigated me in the first place, didn't stand a chance infront of the hoax I had created for myself. But then, did I really want to be an architect? Maybe an interior designer? Maybe, just a designer. Doesn't matter what I made. The process of creation was what mattered most. Or not.

When I got into (and couldn't get out of) what I thought architecture meant and didn't turn out to be, I guess I finally understood the fact that it wasn't all about just becoming an architect. Period. All the drafting and the conceptual development, that constituted a major part of the evaluation of assignments, didn't really matter in the big picture (well MY picture; This is certainly NOT in accordance to any of my teachers' points of view.) It was about the 'design'- the creation, the carrying out, the analysis..and most importantly (I suspect this is only me, thinking too much) the APPRECIATION. Tall buildings, steel and chrome interiors, skyscrapers, piers, arches, numerous elements of design, minimalism, green architecture, glass forms, ancient history and all it had to offer to make architecture better, stabler..I appreciate. I might not like writing all the exams, and proving the worth of my designs in front of a jury and submitting all my assigments within deadlines, and losing my head halfway through it all - but I like architecture. Genuinely at that.

For one, now I know for a fact that its not just about building and construction. Designing can be good fun :) My childhood dreams of becoming a glass artist (7th grade?), and moulding glass to form something, anything - tend to get re-lived. Experimentation with shapes and shapeless forms of all sizes establishes the meaning of work. Arts and crafts, that I always enjoyed no matter how tedious or annoying it gets after a point, still makes sense. Using a t-scale and set-squares to derive plans, elevations and sections - does have its own inexplicable charm. And art! And photography! Each frame has a story to tell, to know of. And ofcourse, you end up getting the trademarked tag of being a student of architecture - respect for your undoubted creative abilities (you took up archi. after all!), concern about the endless sleepless nights and days you spend 'working', sympathy and awe for choosing to be one of the 'different' citizens of the educational society.

Like my work-burdened, limit-less entertainment-deprived fellow-'archi's justify that their best interests lie in the 'creativity'. Its all about letting your emotions run wild in order to give expression to your ideas. Execution and evolution of what is within implies as the most lucrative feature of architecture. Or not. Its essentially an architectural-theory of covering up for whatever goes wrong. :D No offence or anything, for there are some things that need not be defined or understood (or written about). But even though its a tough road ahead with a LOT to look forward to, there are innumerable paths of divergence leading into what I'll someday tend to fancy and take up. Till then, its 'appreciation' all the way, if not architecture-make-believe-creation.